Wednesday, June 10, 2015

Mercy & The Grey

In my despair I cry to You...
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ who according to His great mercy has caused us to be born again to a living hope...

Life is never without some kind of black that squeezes your chest into a cry for help. 
I've cried in desperation many times...
It was mercy that rescued  me once from wolves eating my soul and it is mercy that allows others still to prowl with gnashing fangs. 
My cries of old and now reminded me of Ottway (Liam Neeson) in the movie "The Grey". His desperate plea to God brought no happy ending. 
So I wondered if mercy depends on the way we cry, the words we utter, our broken hearts, our deepest pain or faith or loudest prayers.
No black and white answer for my questions -maybe some are true, maybe all, part me but ultimately God, His good pleasure, His knowing it all. 
It was a no hope sad movie ending, one lone man against a pack of wolves facing certain death. 
As for me, weather my present pleas go answered or not, the monsters devouring my soul were killed years back -God in His mercy answered the most important cry of my life (being no better than Ottway) and evil will never ever get me...















In Your Absence

To James
Far and away...
I wanted to let you know that even though absent you are always with me. 
Since you left, life has continue to flow like a river, sometimes steady and slow, sometimes fast and fun. Others fast and treacherous, dangerous, big or little developing lovely turns, shallow crystalline creeks that can turn deep dark in a moment.
Ever changing moving and flowing...
Marriages, new births, old birthdays, travels, new homes, joys and sorrows, welcomes and farewells, graduations, projects and the routine of life with its ups and downs -like the river I told you about. 
I wish you had been here for all or some...but somehow you were.

Maybe one day we will tell you all about it here at home or much better there in eternity where never again my heart will ache for my absent son. 

Waiting for you...